


nobody knows (take me home)

by lezzylittle



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Other, and janus is Upset, remus is dying, remus is dying and roman, that's it that's the tag, tries to be a good brother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26150875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lezzylittle/pseuds/lezzylittle
Summary: roman and remus can always feel when the other is in pain.this is pain unlike roman's ever felt.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	nobody knows (take me home)

roman feels it first.

he’s getting the imagination ready for an adventure with remus; the two have been working on mending their relationship, trying to be like brothers proper, when he drops to his knees at the sudden pain in his chest.

a hand reaches up to grasp at his sash, hoping it will ground him as he struggles to stand and run out of the imagination. as soon as he’s free of his domain, he’s sinking, down, down, down into the dark side of the mind.

he rises up and he’s running, throws open remus’s door (why is it so grey, he was always so proud of the neon green and black swirling pattern he’d created on it) and takes in what he sees: janus desperately holding a fading remus close to his chest, hands free from their gloves and running through what can be seen of his brother’s hair.

“roro..?” his brother coughs, and if roman couldn’t feel the agony in his chest, he might think remus was faking it. a prank. a joke. something they can laugh about later in the imagination.

“i’m here, remus.” deceit hasn’t looked up at the light side since he entered, hasn’t taken his hands off his lover since remus had first called him in there this morning. “i’m right here.”

“stay?” and the prince can’t say no, won’t say no, not now. he makes his way to the side of the bed and plops ungracefully on the dirty floor. the whisper of a hand finds his, and he watches his brother carefully as he takes it, tries to squeeze gently. “it hurts…”

“i know. i know it hurts.” there isn’t much he can do, and he feels _useless_. there’s no dragon to slay, no demon to vanquish. an invisible enemy he can do nothing about. _useless_. the worst is remus, who is normally so bright and vibrant and full of life, has.. just accepted it. the way he’s acting, he seems like he accepted the thought of fading before he’d even started.

“it’s never been this bad before,” janus finally murmurs, the sting of truth bitter in his mouth. and the words make roman stare at the lying side. “he’s never been this… gone. before.”

“i’m right here,” his brother complains, and the resulting lip twitch seems to be what remus was looking for. “i told you i’d be the first to go, jan, we both knew it was coming.”

“why?”

remus takes a moment to look at roman. to really look at his brother, with his air of perfection. there are bags under his eyes, deep enough remus could swim in them if he were feeling like himself. his lips are chapped, probably from the way roman has been biting them anxiously the whole time he’s been here. and his eyes are so scared. not scared of remus, though. scared for remus. scared of losing him.

he remembers that they were supposed to go on an adventure today - roman had loudly announced it to the light sides, as he did all things, and had journeyed into their shared domain to prepare an adventure that was lighthearted enough for himself but grim enough for his twin.

“why would you be the first..? why is janus talking like this has happened before?” he’s forgotten that he’s hidden this from roman. the side who never lied, who didn’t hide anything, had kept this from his other half. “re?”

“... when a side isn’t used, or is ignored..” remus holds up a hand that is more the _impression_ of a hand than the real thing. “they start to fade. janny says it’s because the mind decides they’re not worth a physical infestation-”

“manifestation,” the scaled side corrects quietly, finally turning to look at roman. his eyes are red and bloodshot, sunken in under dark circles. his scales are dull in the dim light of remus’s greying room. “his mind has decided that one creativity is enough.”

at that, an indignant anger roars to life in roman’s chest. roman isn’t enough on his own, he knows that now. they need remus, _he_ needs remus. and if he has to go yell at thomas to keep his brother alive, then he will.

“ro? it’s not worth it.” _of course it is_ , he wants to scream, _of course it’s worth it, you’re worth it_. janus must be thinking something similar, because the scaled side scoffs under his breath. “it’s not. i always knew i would fade first, ‘cause i’m everything thomas doesn’t want. i’m the bad creativity-“ roman lets out a choked noise. “the evil twin. it makes sense.”

“i don’t want you to go,” the prince whispers, and he means it. he would give himself up in a heartbeat, and he knows he hasn’t been the best brother. he knows he tossed remus to the cold instead of fighting for him like he should have. remus has been far more forgiving than roman ever deserved. “please, re, don’t leave me alone-“

“i don’t wanna go. i don’t wanna go, i don’t wanna die- jan, i don’t wanna die-“

“i know. i know, moosey. you’re going to be alright,” the lie comes easier than janus thinks it should. “you’re going to be just fine, roman and i will fix it.”

“of course we will.” bless his acting ability, he picks up the lie right where janus leaves off. “we’ll fix it, and you’ll be back to your normal self in no time.”

remus scoffs. he can see through the lies like roman and janus can see through him.

“... if you try to fix it, will one of you stay? i don’t. i don’t want to be alone.”

“i’ll stay,” jan offers, and fixes roman with a _look_. “and me and ro will text to keep each other updated.”

“absolutely. i’ll be right back, okay, re? i’m. i’m going to fix it. i promise. and then we can go on that quest i prepared!”

he gets the smallest, most scared smile in return.


End file.
